Secret Invasion #1 [Jun 2008]

Oh boy…

I tried being optimistic; I really did, but this just reeks of the Disassembled storylines all over again. Basically, both Avengers teams investigate a fallen spacecraft in the Savage Land. While that’s happening, all hell breaks loose as the Skrulls go on the offensive.

Then there’s the big “reveal” that occurs at the crash site. I can just hear the fanboys screeching now how so-and-so can’t be a Skrull because of this, that, and the other.

What’s this about Iron Man’s armor getting instantly neutralized by an “alien virus”? Isn’t this the guy who found a cure for the Venom symbiotes in five minutes? I’d think computer code would be a lot easier to crack than a genetic one.  Actually, as a professional programmer, I know for a fact that it is.

Spoiler Warning: I can’t write this part without giving one of the reveals away. Okay, I can buy Hank Pym as a Skrull, but why would you wait until Mr. Fantastic figures it all out before blasting him into goo instead of doing it as soon as the two of you were alone? Anyone who’s spent more than thirty seconds with Reed knows that once his brain latches onto something, he’ll stick with it to the very end.

If there’s a god, everything in this issue is just a red herring and not the cinderblock-to-the-brain Bendis usually employs. If I end up paying $32 for another Disassembled story, I’m going to hunt Bendis down and beat him in the crotch with an Apple II joystick until both of my arms get tired.

As for the artwork, it’s typical Yu — Some panels are nicely-detailed works of art, while others look like a Mignola wannabe, and not the good kind.

“He loves you?” If this is love, please start hating me.